Live Studio Audiences

T.V. shows is a type of entertainment in which there can be a live studio audience. Sports and theatre productions also have them. Now what if they were in other things? What if people had to perform their jobs daily in front of a crowd. If the crowd becomes negative then it can hurt your work, but if it stays positive you could perform quite well.

1. Surgeons.
What if surgeons had to perform while a crowd was cheering them on? They would perform at their all time best because they wouldn't want to let down their fans. If they started booing though it could harmful to the patient. They could be taken out of "the zone" and start making mistakes.

2. Parents
What if parents had to discipline their children in front of a crowd of people. Think of the reactions that would get. Cries of hysteria based upon the severity.

3. (Personal Fav) Accountants
"Oh you add those numbers!"
*chants* Do those taxes

Those are that I have for now, but I might add on later in a different post.

Christmas

Christmas is here, and today is the day for giving and recieving gifts. I personally felt great joy when my parents both opened up their gifts and great smiles grew across their faces.

Another part of my day, that made me happy, was when I opened one of my gifts from Santa. I have a 6th sense where I can guess what my gifts are before I open them, and I have a history of being correct. This time however I had no clue. It was a box shape, but it hade grooves and indents that left me baffled. This left me with no choice but to just open it up. Inside was a 1978 Pele lunchbox with thermos. I was overcome with joy. I had seen this lunchbox at an antique store over the summer, but I couldn't bring myself to buy it.

As cliche as it sounds I enjoyed giving gifts more than I did recieving. However, the best quote all day was by my 8 year old sister.

"Giving gifts is cool...but recieving is better."-Madie

The dark plague game!

You know what game/nursery rhyme that you don't hear as much any more? Ring around the rosy. That game was a classic. I can remember the whole holding hands and then walking in a circle and falling down at the end in a classic roar of laughter. It was a great time.

These days however you never see that game played anymore. Yes, there is relationship between the black plague and the game. However, I believe that this game is what made kids tougher. Kids these days are running around like a bunch of pansies. They need to be toughened up. With all these people decided hey those toys might not be as safe as we previously thought. The rest of us played with those toys and turned out just fine. It is because of those toys, that we ended up how we did.

Bottom Line: Kids these days need to play ring around the rosy.

Christmas Carols

I don't know about you, but I am sick and tired of the same old christmas songs. The same songs have been sung for hundreds of years, and no one has come up with a new one?
"Well you can't mess with a classic."
Wrong! You can very well mess with a classic. If you couldn't then there wouldn't be any remakes that would make use realize how great or crappy the original was.

Now, I don't have a huge problem with the songs. They can be great on some occassions. However, I feel that with the thousands of creative song writers in the world that someone could come up with a catchy song. Something new and creative that would bring together the elements of today's world and combine them with the classic festive christmas feeling.

In due time I hope a song writer or aspiring singer accepts the challenge of a new christmas song that can rival those of the classics.

Law of Crumbs

There is a law that says you can't destroy or create matter. That law doesn't apply to crumbs. For instance when you have a crumb, and you cut it in half what happens? You have two crumbs. WHAT?!?!?! You just created matter. For some odd reason, you can not have half a crumb. Which is why, when you have toast your plate is littered with pieces of toast that have fallen off (crumbs).

Bottom Line: You have the power to create, don't waste it.

Pt. 4 The Phrases Continue.

We are currently on our second straight day out of school due to snow. I don't know if everyone in my family will survive. Someone may be murdered. Just kidding

So far this week we have looked at a number of phrases. All of them ranging in how obvious it is that they're ridiculous. Today's phrase that I am going to analyze is, "(to) feel like a million dollars".

Woman: "Do you like this dress?"
Husband who doesn't want to argue no matter how ugly the dress is: "You must feel like a million dollars you look so good."


Now, according to Dictionary.com "feel: to have a sensation of being". To the best of my knowledge, no one has ever become a million dollars. They have never physically become a large sum of currency. So, how do they know what a million dollar feels like?

My best guess at what a million dollars feels like is grimy. Have you ever thought about how many people touch money? Money is one of the dirtiest things in the world, and not just because it can lead to corruption. You could feel like a million dollars if you had just rolled around in the mud, and there were are large amount of people touching you while you did this.

Bottom Line: The only way to feel like a million dollars is to go to a McDonalds playhouse that has a ball pit. Once there wait until the busiest part of the day and go sit in the ball pit. Before long, there will a large number of children who just got done eating and have extremely dirty hands. They will be climbing all over you for their own amusement. Not fun.

Phrases Week! Pt. 3

Cat got your tongue? Seriously? I don't even feel like I have to write out the whole thing. I own two cats. Very energetic felines, and yet I have never come close to losing my tongue to one of them.

Example

Person 1: *silence*
Person 2: Cat got your tongue?


Is this like some common thing somewhere? Where cats eat peoples tongues? I can't even imagine how this one started.

Bottom Line: Cats don't eat the tongues out of your month.

Phrases Pt. 2. Your back?

A phrase that people use all the time, that I absolutely can't stand and I point out the flaws in this phrase every time I hear, is, "behind your back."

"I can't believe she said that behind your back!"


Have you ever taken Anatomy? Or, perhaps looked in the mirror? Your back is obviously the part of your body on your backside from your shoulders down to the top of your butt. I can not stand it when people say,"She said that behind my back. I wish she would just say it to my face." Or any version of that sentence.

The keyword in the phrase that makes it absolutely ridiculous is behind. Now, when you use the word behind in reference to your body you are speaking about something that is no visible or not in front of you. But, if something is going on behind you then it would technically be called in FRONT of your back.

Behind your back indicates that the person is saying this stuff to your face. So, when someone says that wishes that they wouldn't say it behind their back and instead would appreciate them saying it to their face they are contradicting themselves. I have received many looks from people when they mention something that is going on behind their back and I just laugh. This is probably my biggest pet peeve with the English language.

Bottom line: I hate it when people say bad things about me when I am not around. (easy fix)

Phrases Week! Pt.1

This week I will posting a couple of blogs. They will all focus on phrases that are used, that in all honesty make no sense. But, no one ever takes the time to think, "Hey, maybe I shouldn't fit in with the crowd and make sense."


The first phrase this week is, "piece of cake". Now traditionally this is used to describe something as easy.

"What did you think of that math test?"
"It was a piece of cake."


Really? How many of you have made a cake? It's not like you just pop it into the oven. You do have to combine the correct amount of all the ingrediants together. Which instantly makes it harder than somethings. I would understand the phrase, "easy as toast." Toast is simple. Get the piece of bread, place it in the toaster, select the color you want to toast to come out (the dial), and finally take the toast out.

Another phrase that is similar to "a piece of cake" is "easy as pie". That only makes sense if you are eating the pie. And that isn't always easy. Pies can be messy. The filling often falls onto the plate, and if you are using plastic silverware the problem becomes more difficult. The filling always falls off the silverware and makes it ten times harder to accomplish the goal of eating the the pie.

Bottom line: Eating pie, and making toast are a piece of cake.

Tourettes/Corprolalia?

I put a lot of thought into Tourettes and Corprolalia after I had gotten done listening to one of my favorite comedians. Now, what many people may not know is that Tourettes doesn't mean that you have Corprolalia. "Corprolalia is involuntary swearing or the involuntary utterance of obscene words or socially inappropriate and derogatory remarks" (Wikipedia).

What makes me wonder is; who decides what obscene words or socially inappropriate remarks are? Is there a committee for this and if so where are they located? Why haven't I ever heard of them?

That is a tangent however, because the real thing that I was thinking about was politeness. Do you wonder if there is someone out there in the world who has a case of polite Tourettes/Corprolalia? Someone who just spews random compliments?

Polite Tourettes Person- "Beautiful skirt!"
Girl wearing skirt- "Why thank you."
P.T.P- "I am sorry. I have a disease."
Girl wearing skirt- "Oh don't be sorry. That was so kind."

Think of how much good this person could do. People around them would not have confidence issues at all. People in this day and age forget that a simple compliment can change someones day. You can't be an effective leader without being positive and congratulating your team/squad/party/group of individuals. You can change someones life just by noticing them, and a person with polite Tourettes would be very helpful.

So, next time you see a sweet hat, cool (orange) shoes, or an intriguing shirt don't be afraid to tell the person what you think. And, to all of you reading this....sweet haircut =P

Ipods

I work at a grocery store, and recently I have begun to notice that some people go grocery shopping while listening to their ipods. This seems decently absurd, but whatever floats your boat. So, I began to wonder. What if people used Ipods during other parts of their lives. This could make things interesting, so here is a list of things that would be more "interesting" with ipods.

-Airplane pilots
Do you trust your pilot to drive while listening to tunes?

-Priests
Imagine going to church and the priest was rocking out to some tunes while trying to give a sermon. I imagine it would end with the screaming of "Go Jesus".

-Surgeons
It would be hard to trust your life to a man who is listening to "Let the bodies hit the floor" while operating on you.

There are many more but these are what I thought of. Ipods should probably be kept out of the work place for these reasons.

Spoonful of sugar?

Mary Poppins is a classic Disney movie. There are many musical scenes to this movie that involves a singing nanny. One of the songs in this movie is called "A Spoonful of Sugar". The basis of this song is that work can sometimes be fun. While this theme is repeated through metaphors throughout the piece, it is mentioned multiple times that "a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down".

I am not a doctor by any means, but I don't think the best way to take medicine is with sugar. What if you were going to take a couple of aspirin. Would you have to put the capsules on to the spoon?

Another problem I have with this advice is the addiction. If people did give their children their medicine with a spoonful of sugar there would be a problem. Soon children would be faking sickness, not to get out of school but for the sugar. They would then be overdosing, and what the parents thought would be helping their children (the medicine) would soon be hurting them.

The bottom line
This song should not be played for young children. The repitivness of the sugar statement will get into their heads. Soon they will be throwing tantrums unless they get their sugary dose of meds.


Cyanide & Happiness @ Explosm.net

NCYC!!!

I just got home from my trip to Kansas City for the National Catholic Youth Convention (NCYC). For those of you who don't know; NCYC is a gathering of 22,000 catholic youth gathering to listen to speaker, strengthen their faith, and make a lot of new friends. I had a lot of fun, and decided that I would make a list of the 10 best things that I experienced at NCYC.

10. Being recognized by 1 of 12.
- 1 of 12 is a band out of Iowa City that plays at the youth rally for the Davenport Diocese and it made me feel better that they remembered me.

9. Mike Patin's athlete speech.
- One of the workshops I went to was put on by Mike Patin. He had a really good speech for High School Athletes.

8. Adoration.
- Being able to watch as 20 something thousand people walk behind a huge number of priests down the street was mind bottling.

7. Soccer Jerseys.
-I acquired two sweet biblical soccer jerseys. They have the the greek word for Jesus Fish on the front and I love it.

6. Parties on the 9th floor.
-Boys and girls couldn't go into each others rooms, so we all hung out in the hallway. Always a good time.

5. Getting to see POPPPLE!!
-Popple is a band made up of two amazing men. I am a huge fan, and getting to see them again was great.

4. Mike Smith's breakout.
-He has worked for MTV for a number of years, and has been on a couple of reality shows. He had a great presentation on being able to tell the difference between fantasy and reality in the media.

3. Reconciliation.
-Even though I had to wait for what seemed to be an incredible long time. Going to reconciliation was a great feeling.

2. Mass.
-Going to mass with a massive amount of people is phenomenal. Our group may have gotten lost on our way to communion due to a chaperone, but I took the reins and got us back on track. It was a moving experience.

1. Aimee.
- That is the name of this awesome girl from Louisiana. I am a sucker for a cute blonde with a cute accent. She brightened my day when she started talking to me. She also gave me seasoning packets for my food because, "If your food is bland use it, and if you think it isn't then it probably is and use it."


Okay, so maybe Aimee wasn't the best thing. However it was easily one of the best. The numbers really don't matter, because they are almost all equal. Two honorable mentions would be: The chastity keynote, and video taping/ hanging out with Dana and Ethan.

Kite Fighting

I recently learned about an Asian sport called Kite Fighting. The whole point is to take down an opponents kite by using your flight. There are many kinds of kites, but I think Kite Fighters are missing a huge opportunity. They are limiting their kites to specific kinds, and I think I could spice this sport up a bit.

Imagine being the opponent that has to go up against my kite that is comprised of many elements. It would be made of a light carbon fiber, and it would also be a light blue. It would be light blue to to make it harder to see in the sky. Next, I would attach five points so that it would be in a star shape. Each of the points would have a small sharp dagger attached. If an opponents kite even got close it would be torn up.

This would be the basic model. Over time I would come out with upgrades like a flame thrower, lasers, and grenade launchers. I imagine his sport becoming a full fledge (safe) war.

Humpty Dumpty?

Bottom line: I have a problem with this common nursery rhyme.

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king's horses,
And all the king's men,
Couldn't put Humpty together again.

Humpty Dumpty is portrayed as an egg. I therefore assume that all of the other people in the story are eggs. That would make the most sense. So, wouldn't there be like an egg doctor?

Also, the king sent horses to help an egg. That isn't suspicious at all. He send an animal to help out one of the members in his kingdom.

Overall, i just feels suspicious to me. The king could've done a little bit more to help out this egg. Also, who is to say that Humpty wasn't pushed!

Do cats always land on their feet?

Okay, so I was eating toast the other morning when all of sudden my cat started rubbing against my leg. I jumped and my toast fell out my hand. I saw this all in slow motion with a look of horror. The worst possible outcome had happened. The toast had landed...butter side down. This always seems to happen. There is never situation in which you drop toast and it lands butter side up. No one in the world is that lucky. Then I noticed my cat nibbling at the toast on the ground.

"Hm," I said. What would happen if you attached a piece of toast to the back of a cat? But the butter is the opposite side of the cat. Then you dropped the cat.

Would the forces of nature cause the cat to land on it's feet? This is more than likely, but we have to consider the toast paradox. The toast couldn't land without the butter hitting the floor could it?

I wouldn't actually do this to an animal. However, it is an interesting thought that has had me befuddled all weekend. And to think that it all started when a cat caused me to drop my sustenance. I guess this is just another one of life's mysteries.

My night at work

Tonight I worked at Fareway. So I had to work from 5 pm to 10:50 (we were supposed to get out at 10), and this was a night that was strangely fun for the most part. It all started out with the surprise that I was going to be working in the Produce Section. This meant that I didn't have to carry out carts for the most part which can be nice.

So, there I was about two hours into my shift when the night manager comes back.
He had just broken a jar of peanuts all over the place. He explained that he was cleaning up the peanuts all over the floor an old man came and stood behind him. Not only did this old man stand behind him, but he stood very close. Then the manager turned around and noticed that there was someone in his vicinity. "Those appear to be peanuts" the old man asked. My manager responded politely then came back to the Produce Section. He told me and we enjoyed a hearty chuckle.

My favorite part of the night, however, was when a man came and asked me for help. He wanted to know if we had sushi. Then he described the kind of sushi he wanted, and he made it come across as if he wanted to know if we had a sushi bar. Few grocery stores in Iowa have a sushi bar. I am just saying. I still went and asked the manager even though I was 100% sure we didn't have a sushi bar in the store. At least the last time I asked.

First Post?

Hey! Um this is my first post. I don't really know how to start it off so I thought a pleasant greeting would be good.

You may be wondering what is a shenaniganza? Well, it is a combination of all things awesome. For example, if you found a leprechaun who also was a part time genie. This would be a shenaniganza due to the fact that it is the epitome of awesomeness. Another example is, if you met Will Ferrel in person....that would be cool.