Simple Indulgence

The true focus of this post will be at the end. You may read this, and wonder, "Max, what's your point?" Assuming we are friends then I ask you to trust me. Patience is the key.

Simple. A two cookies with cream in the middle. An American staple. The sweet sweet indulgence that a simple food can bring. If you haven't guess, I am talking about the Oreo.

The Oreo is phenomenal. Throughout the years there have been many renditions, but the concept is the same. However, there is one rendition that never went away. DOUBLE STUFF! Double stuff Oreos are delicious. There is no doubt in my mind. I thoroughly enjoy them as do a great number of people. My only question is, what happened to the standard?

The normal Oreo seems to have gone missing! With the double stuff Oreo, is there a need for a normal Oreo? The double stuff has become the standard. It used to be a big deal if you bought a package of double stuff Oreos, but now it just seems natural.

America loves euphemisms. Can the average person handle the truth? No, and that is why we use euphemisms. Here is my solution to the Oreo issue conveyed above. Change the double stuff Oreo to the regular Oreo, and rename the regular Oreo...THE DIET OREO! It's brilliant. A nation with the constant threat of obesity disguising a simple Oreo as a diet! It only makes sense. Plus it isn't lying because the new regular Oreo has twice as much filling.

I hope you read this whole thing, and did wish for immediate satisfaction. Sometimes there needs to be a little background reading into my thoughts.

Pierce Hawthorne

Pierce Hawthorne is a character in one of my favorite t.v. shows "Community". He is a drastically inappropriate elderly man played by Chevy Chase. If you aren't watching "Community" yet, then start. Season 1 is out on dvd and I wouldn't think twice about buying it. I have only seen a few episodes from season 2 but I plan on buying it as soon as it is released on dvd. Here are some of my favorite Pierce Hawthorne moments.

Annie: WWBJD?
Pierce Hawthorne: If that stands for "What Would Billy Joel Do?" I'll tell you right now: he'd write another crappy song.

Pierce Hawthorne: And Annie knows a thing or two about guilt. Am I right, Jew?
Annie: Say the whole word!
Pierce Hawthorne: ...Jewie?

Pierce Hawthorne: Getting punched in the face is a rite of passage. In the 70s, a Friday night was smoking a doobie, kissing a girl and getting hit in the face by Republicans.

Those were from just one episode! I mean come on this guy is golden. Go youtube him immediately and thank me later.

Early Bird = Screwed Worm

Birds eat worms. That's probably not the only thing, but the old phrase, "The early bird gets the worm" indicates that the bird is most likely eating the worm. Like most we instantly assume that this phrase indicates that we shouldn't procrastinate and that we will be rewarded for our promptness. My question: What about the worm?

The early worm gets eaten. There is no way out of it. The worm could've stayed in bed. Called in sick to worm work. Sure it's manager might not have accepted his excuse and it might get written in his record, but it's better than death! Come on man. That worm tried to be the early bird and instead got screwed. Only solution was for it to be late. Wait till the birds have had their fill of worms, and then traverse whatever distance it needs to. You (as a worm) might lose a few friends by telling them to go first, but you'll save your head.

We are human, not dancers

There I was. In the famous supermarket jungle, Wal-Mart, hunting for my siblings back home. I grabbed a soda and realized that I had fixed my eyes on the goods of a fellow hunter.
*Back to reality*

I took a trip to Wal-Mart to get a few things my sister wanted. As I was grabbing some soda it occurred to me that I was starring at what a lady had in her cart. First of all, I know I'm not the only one who does this and is it really any of my business? Then I wondered is it really something people should have privacy over? I mean you are shopping in one of the largest retail stores in America. In addition I thought: do people do this out of common curiosity, to see if that person has something they might find appetizing, or even to help them remember something they may have forgotten? Lastly, we could all just be paranoid and making sure everyone shopping at Wal-Mart isn't mentally insane. Your thoughts?

Intro: What Max thought John told him
Body: What John actually said.

Ahh new face

Shenaniganza intrgues some. For others it inspires. Those are the only two options I am giving you so you have to choose between those two. Just saying. I am just messing around, but in all honesty John Andersen will be posting some things on here as well. His contributions will expand the work on here, and we can look forward to some great stuff.

Ambiguous Volition

A manifest lifestyle sought by conformity


I was raised to abhor this destiny.



Six feet into the ground, you'll find bones



Within a man's reach you'll find stories untold.



My place is shame



My place is regret



My place is dawning on me



Yet I will never forget.



Every question on my mind.



Every pattern and time wasting time.



I begin to lose myself and catch myself.



Five feet below the ground, digging.



Answers I will never find where I once looked.



Not afraid to say, life will be judged and

right now, my name isn't in the Book.



Afraid of where I am and what I have done,

I have time.







-John Andersen

Could or Couln't?

"I could care less."

I was walking through the hallway at school when I heard the above quote. I myself could be quoted as using this saying before, but I never really thought about it until now. However, hearing it this time made me think. Later in the day I heard the same thing. A person was complaining about some homework and another peer told him that he could, "Care less."

Being guilty of using this phrase embarrassed me for a second. This phrase is often used to describe a situation in which you have reached the minimum point of care for something. Used to express your greatest disgust, but was it really doing that?

After some thought, I realized it wasn't. It hadn't really occurred to me at first, but by saying you could care less you are indicating that you are the MAXIMUM amount of caring. After this realization came about, I started to notice that almost everyone said, "I could care less," and not, "I couldn't care less."

This further shows how such a simple change in one word can mean all the difference in the sentence's emphasis. I have become careful as to which I use now. Everyone else, however, keeps using the wrong one willy nilly. As if they both meant the same thing! This is my irritation with American slang and phrases. Their logic.